Welcome And Quick Introductions

Brian 0:00

All right. Well, welcome back to the Vero Beach Podcast. I'm Brian.

Shawna 0:03

And I'm Shauna.

Brian 0:03

And today we are sitting here with Dave and Yvette from the Warriors and Queens. We're so excited to have you guys on the podcast.

Yvette 0:10

Thank you so much. It's an honor to be here with you guys today.

Brian 0:13

Thank you so much. Brian and Shauna, excited to be here. Who told you about the podcast?

Yvette 0:17

Vero Beach moms. She is such a sweetheart. She's an amazing woman, is leading an incredible nonprofit. So we're just so grateful to be here because of her. Shout out to Kayla.

Brian 0:28

Yes. Okay, let's go ahead and start with getting to know you guys a little bit. I know we're going to get into Warriors and Queens, which we're super excited to get into that. But before we talk about the business, tell us a little bit about you, and I'll let you guys decide on who wants to go first. No, you guys don't have to arm wrestle. I see like, okay, Dave was putting his arm up, getting ready.

Yvette 0:46

It's such an honor to share today. And um, we were both born in New York. I was raised in Bolivia, South America, and I lived in California much of my life and uh decided to come back to the East Coast, which we believe is the best coast. And um just uh I worked for the government, uh, was the head of economic development for a lot of years, and um decided I was exhausted of working so hard uh for somebody else and just sacrificing my entire life. And so decided to become entrepreneurs, and that's the journey that brought us to Viera Beach.

Dave 1:22

Yes, and uh I was born in New York and um raised in uh Brooklyn and Long Island, but um raised actually in Los Angeles. I left uh New York when I was 10, so raised in Los Angeles, grew up there, went to high school, played college basketball at Calutaran University, and then eventually went overseas and played an Australia professional for a few years. Wow. And then uh after that, I realized I needed to get a real job. So after having fun over there for several years, I came back and I got a criminal justice degree from college, so I figured I better use that. And I became a police officer with the LAPD.

Brian 1:56

Wow.

Dave 1:57

So in that transition is where I met my beautiful wife while I was still playing over there, and then I would come home for two months. And when I decided I need to get a real career and grow up, I met her and decided to give up my basketball career in Australia and pursue a relationship with her. Best decision I ever made. And now we've been married for 26 years.

Brian 2:16

Wow. So you met her when you were a police officer?

Dave 2:18

Right before. I was actually going through the academy.

Brian 2:21

I was gonna say, like, this wasn't like a booking thing or anything like that to happen, but uh, okay. So right before that. Just kidding.

Childhood, Culture Shock, And Survival

Yvette 2:30

What was it like for you guys growing up? Ooh, that's a great question. Growing up, I think uh my life was very simple, living in Bolivia, you know, just everything so simple. Uh, farms and, you know, a very small town. And I think moving here when I was 13 was really hard. I went into massive culture shock.

Shawna 2:50

I'm sure.

Yvette 2:50

I remember I came here when the Michael Jackson days, and everybody had buttons and jean jackets and gloves, and people during the breaks at school, junior high, they would put this cardboard and do this thing called breakdancing with these beatbox things. And I was like, what is that? So I had to learn English. I spoke German because I went to a German school in Bolivia and uh I went through massive culture shock, and that also became one of the biggest gifts later on in my life because it really gave me character, courage, determination because of all the bullying that I experienced. So I believe that as hard as that was, that was also one of my biggest gifts. So that was uh the growing up part.

Dave 3:33

Yes. If I could describe my life growing up, it'd be two words chaos and transformation. Uh living in New York, I um my father is from Ecuador, my mom's from El Salvador, they met in New York, had three kids, and my dad was lost for the first 10 years of his marriage life with my mom and just created a lot of chaos to the point where I was 10 years old, living in Long Island, Great Neck Long Island. And next thing I know, these uh two Italian guys are coming to the apartment, breaking the windows, talking about wanting to kill our entire family. Um, unbeknownst to us at the time, my dad was working as a deliman in a restaurant that was owned or that was basically being extorted by the Italian mob. Somehow my dad caught his attention and they basically decided they're going to take our whole family out. Well, luckily, the cops came, they left, but they basically told us um, you can um stay and go to court, but this family is known for doing a lot of bad things. You can go into the witness protection program or you can just leave. So at 10 years old, I just remember packing up everything in the van and driving from New York. It took us five days to drive as far west as we could. We ended up in Inglewood, California at an uncle's house because that's the only person that we knew that lived so far. And so for 20 years, wasn't able to talk to any friends, any family back in New York, basically just had to start all over again. But the transformation part was I saw my dad, who was so lost and created so much chaos. And the transformation that he made because he decided to repent, he decided to ask for forgiveness, and he didn't want to lose his family. And he never drank again, he never cheated on my mama again, he never did any, and he became the most amazing father for the next 20, 25 years of my life. So chaos and transformation, I would say, was my life growing up. Wow.

Shawna 5:27

Have you written a book yet? No, y'all should write a book on encouraging him for sure. Yeah, it's a story to tell. Yours too. Yeah.

Brian 5:37

Yours too. I mean, coming in in a Michael Jackson era had to be such a challenge, I'm sure.

Shawna 5:42

Yeah. Are you thinking, like, am I even on the same planet?

Yvette 5:45

Which everybody is why is everybody acting so interesting? Why do why do girls have one glove, like Madonna, too, right? So that was an interesting era to come into the USA.

Brian 5:56

Yes. Was they just telling you to beat it and stuff like that? But I mean, I you knew is it just number one. If we get ready to go into like the moment that you guys started launching your business, are

How The Past Shapes Love

Brian 6:07

there any areas in your past that you could see like this played a part in what you guys are doing with warriors and queens?

Dave 6:14

I saw the chaos that could happen in a relationship between my mom and my father and all the challenges that we experienced and they experienced. And then I saw how one person and a couple can completely change their relationship no matter what the past was. And so, seeing that, there's no relationship that we, that anybody that comes to us as bad as they think it is, there's nothing comparison to what I saw in the transformation of my mom and dad. So that gives us the certainty to know that I have way more certainty that we can help you transform your relationships. You don't lead to a divorce, then you have certainty that you guys don't belong together.

Shawna 6:55

You know, that's so beautiful because we were just having a conversation the other day. And I don't remember exactly what led to this, but I was talking about how my dad really had the belief that people can't change. And so I love that that's what you just brought up first is like it doesn't matter what the past is, you can change things moving forward. And I just love how hope-filled that is, that you don't have to sit stay stuck in whatever you've been stuck in before. I think that's beautiful.

Dave 7:24

Yes, well said. Thank you for sharing that. Yes, I think that's one thing we do with Warriors and Queens is we do bring hope to people that they don't have to stay stuck in the muck, but they got to take some responsibility first to make that change.

Brian 7:36

I'm really interested to learn more about Warriors and Queens because we're getting ready to celebrate 24 years, but we have a lot of our friends whose marriages are not in good places. Like there's no hope. As you guys probably can relate, it's hard to find really good like couples that you become friends with. So then when you see them breaking apart, it actually breaks your your heart too, because you're like, oh man, like this is our like our good husband and wife friends that we have always hung out and been able to be there for each other. Uh, and there's something going on that we've seen happening for I guess probably the last what four or five years.

Shawna 8:10

I would say so, yeah, four or five years.

Brian 8:11

So I know some of them might be listening to this, so I'm hoping that this will even be helpful to them and and bring hope to them too. So, okay,

Success Outside And Chaos At Home

Brian 8:18

so let's go ahead and transition. Tell us about the business and how it came about.

Yvette 8:22

Absolutely. I'll start. Dave and I built a very successful travel business, and it was thriving all over the world. We partnered up with two guys from Texas. It was a travel club that we built to uh over a million members worldwide. It was the largest private travel company in the world. What happened is because we had a lot of personal growth experience, Dave and I became trainers for that company and started training the sales teams. And then we started traveling all over the world, you know, to launch new countries. We started going to Greece and Brazil and South Africa. And so we were living this amazing life, traveling the world, blessing people. And then we started to realize our marriage started to suffer. Number one, I was very alpha, and he was very alpha. And so if we had two very strong personalities thriving in business, our business is exploding financially, and yet we're coming home, and the tension in our house was so big because neither one of us were seeing eye to eye. And the things that brought us together, we just like stopped seeing each other for who we were, and we started falling apart slowly, disintegrating. So our business was thriving, the biggest year of our lives, and yet we could not be in a room together.

Dave 9:47

Yeah. And

Tony Robbins Intervention And A Turning Point

Dave 9:48

in 2010, we had uh achieved a certain milestone that we decided we were gonna gift ourselves a membership for Tony Robbins Platinum Partners. And that membership is not cheap. $65,000 per person. You get to travel around the world with Tony Robbins for an entire year. And so we gifted ourselves that. And so here we are going to our first platinum partner trip. We're successful on the outside, but behind closed doors, there's a lot of chaos going on. And we're in Scotland, and Tony Robbins does about a two and a half hour intervention with us. And that was the precipice that led us to the awareness that, oh my gosh, we are broken. And if we don't fix this, we're gonna sacrifice our love and our marriage for success and money.

Shawna 10:36

Yeah.

Dave 10:36

And what we didn't realize is that, you know, we started off as partners. And then along the way, little things that we would do or say or tension or conflict that we didn't know how to resolve, we ended up being on opposite teams and treating each other like enemies. And so we needed to know how to get back into partnership. So then the very next day, after Tony did this intervention, sat down with Tony at lunchtime. And his whole philosophy is you don't have to create stuff. Just go and model. Find somebody who has what you want and learn from them so that you can apply. It's the fastest way to achieve it. So I asked Tony, I said, Tony, who's your relationship expert? Like, who do you go to for relationships? And without question, without even hesitation, he said, Allison Armstrong. She is the best when it comes to partnership and communication. So the one thing about Yvette and I is we are massive implementers. We don't just like read a book just to read it. We read it because we want to implement what we learned. So we said, okay, Allison Armstrong. We did research. We got all of her books. One incredible best relationship book on the planet called The Queen's Code. Okay.

Shawna 11:40

Queen's Code.

Dave 11:41

Queen's Code. Okay. Queen's Code.

Shawna 11:44

Oh, I've seen that actually. Okay.

Dave 11:45

It is the best relationship book. Changed our life. So we read all of her books. We started finding out where she did events. So we started going to all of our events. And every time we would learn something new, we would apply it and it would transform how we started partnering and communicating. And then from there, we said, Oh my God, she's got the best thing. So friends started asking us, hey, there's something different about you guys. Yeah. We started sharing a little bit about what we learned with them. And then we found out that Allison had a certification program. And so we're just like go-getters. So we said, we're the only couple. And literally, it was an entire year like going through an MBA program because it's not just studying with her and learning from her, but now it's also doing research and researching couples and then getting graded on how we deliver the kind. It was a whole year MBA program. And we're very proud to say that we are the only couple that has ever been certified by Allison Armstrong in the entire world.

Brian 12:42

Wow.

Dave 12:43

So we took that framework of partnership. And then we also realized partnership is where most people need to start because they have to have peace in their home. They have to know how to communicate. They got to get back on the same team, right? And there's things that men and women do to each other because either they don't understand the opposite sex or they're just responding or reacting from unresolved past wounds.

Brian 13:07

Yeah.

Dave 13:07

And then we realize, okay, people can have great partnership, but what makes an intimate relationship different than just the friendship? That's the passion. And for a lot of couples, including us, after about two years, the oxytocin wears off and the passion fades. And now some live as roommates and business partners rather than lovers. So how do you get the passion back? Well, what we realized is passion is completely different than partnership. Partnership is similarity where people can connect and be friends, but passion is mystery. It is opposite. It's polarity. It's when the woman's in her feminine and the man is in her masculine. And a lot of couples, they depolarize and they flip it. So how do you get it back? And then once you get the passion, now you got the prep partnership and the prep passion. And then the last pillar that we talk about is the purpose. And that's when couples, instead of just fighting and trying to live paycheck to paycheck, they start thriving and serving and helping other people and also being an inspiration to other couples of what's possible when you turn your relationship around. So that's been the big, we were our first clients.

Brian 14:11

Yeah, that's awesome.

Shawna 14:12

I love that. But that's really where the passion for the work comes from, is because you know it works. You've done it yourself. That's so beautiful.

Partnership Passion Purpose Framework

Brian 14:21

I love everything that you're breaking down there. And if you don't mind, I'm gonna go back for just a minute. You were talking about how you look successful on the outside. And my question is, do you guys see that often when you're working with people as well? Because I feel like with what we see across social media, I think that's probably even amplified the illusion of what success is. But inside, we're just a lot of people are just hurting and falling apart. Are you seeing that more and more?

Dave 14:44

Yeah, I'll I'll bring it from a few different perspectives. And one of the perspectives is a lot of people, especially because we were deep in the personal development world where we were, you know, hanging out with people like Bob Proctor and Tony Rod and all these people and getting to know them and being around them. And one thing that we coined that when when when when you hear this, you can understand it. So many are public heroes but private zeros.

Shawna 15:14

Wow.

Dave 15:15

Public heroes were in the public and on stage they sound great, but behind closed doors, they might not necessarily be a kind person. Or for us, it wasn't that we were kind, is that we were struggling and we were trying to put this persona on of that we're successful and we're happy, but then when behind closed doors, we we didn't know how to turn it around and we were suffering, but we couldn't necessarily go and talk to people about it. So we had to figure it out ourselves. And you said something very important, Brian. Usually the people that come to us is not the man, it's the queen. It's the woman that has had so much leverage and she knows that there's something there and wants to turn it around, and she's more open to getting some support than the man is because we tend to conceal, we tend to hold it close to us until it's too late. And then oftentimes, even then, we still don't want getting help.

Brian 16:06

Probably if it's men, we're probably more likely to take the reins of, let me just fix it. I'm just gonna fix it. We're not really even listening to what's even going on, or or wanting to seek help. You know, this is my job, I can take care of this, let me figure it out. Me and Shauna, it was after our first two years of marriage, we were probably really close to getting a divorce.

Shawna 16:22

It was not definitely thinking about it, right?

Brian 16:24

Definitely thinking about it. We actually went through a lot of tough things, like losing a house, all these things that you would think would even destroy us more, but it actually pulled us closer together, you know, our faith, leaning to each other, it really turned our life around. You mentioned the word awareness, and I think during that time for us, even though the things that were happening in our life seemed bad, it was bringing awareness of the importance for having each other there to lean on. So I think that's an important piece for anybody that's listening that maybe they might see themselves in this story already.

Shawna 16:53

I I love how much detail you're talking about, like with the three pillars. It clicks when you hear it, you're like, Yes, that makes sense. I understand. Let's hear more.

Brian 17:02

Partnership, passion, and purpose. How long have you been doing this now?

Dave 17:06

Wow, this is so crazy because we've been teaching for over 20 years. And this is what's kind of funny. We were teaching mostly sales, but anytime we would go teach and then we would ask for questions, 80% of the training turned into relationships because people would say, We're making good money, life is good, but at home, there's so much tension and conflict. How do you guys work together and build together? And and the other thing I wanted to share is you said something so important that no matter what's happening, this is why we call our our mastermind called unshakable love mastery. In today's world, it just seems like so many couples flinch every time something chaotic happens, whether it's loss of a home, a loss of job, a health diagnosis, um, close to a breakup, right? Family dies. So many, so many couples. We just seen somebody, uh, old friend, that he was in the hospital and she ended up leaving him because she didn't want to deal with all the medical bills and everything like that. And it's like, how do you get there?

Covenant Love And Personal Responsibility

Dave 18:06

And in vet and I, we decided when we married under God that this was gonna be a covenant relationship. Covenant is different than contract, right? Contract is if you do this, then I'll do this. Covenant is no matter what, we're gonna figure it out. We're gonna be unshakable. So during that rough patch, we both said this, and I don't know how we got to this place, but we said, you know what? We can be like a lot of couples. 60 to 65% of Americans end up in divorce, unfortunately, today. And we can be another statistic. Said, but if we do that, here's the challenge. If we don't fix the root cause and we stop blaming each other and we identify what it is that how we're showing up to change it, all we're gonna do is we're gonna go to another relationship and repeat the same pattern.

Brian 18:51

Yeah.

Dave 18:51

So that's when we did the whole Allison and we went a whole year of not trying to fix each other, but to work on ourselves.

Yvette 18:58

Yeah. Wow. Yeah, we have a big saying in our community that when you get started, even if that one person just comes in and works with us, you clean up your side of the street because we're gonna turn on the light in the bedroom and see where the mess is. As you clean up your side of the street, you affect massive change in your partner. Because when we had breakdown in our relationship, he was at the point where he's like, I can't make you happy. You go find somebody who's gonna make you happy. And he almost was ready to break off the relationship. And I read the book overnight, and I realized how much I was doing to push him away. And so when I started implementing the strategies, he had nowhere to go because I was no longer diminishing, I was no longer being this alpha person that was diminishing my husband, that was disempowering him. I was actually empowering him, speaking life into him. And he was like, Whoa, like what happened here? You did this for 14 years, and now, like at the beginning, he was like, Are you manipulating me?

Dave 20:05

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yvette 20:07

He's like, he's like, give me that book. And he read it and he came back the next morning. He read it in one night, and he said, I feel seen. Wow, I feel seen. And then the reality is that Allison, as incredible as she is, she's not getting her work out to the world because she only identifies with a certain amount of people that go and find her. She's more of a scientist and a researcher than a teacher. She doesn't teach live seminars anymore. And so she empowered us to help get this work out to the world. And we make it fun, we make it interactive, we have retreats, we have women's retreats and men's retreats and marriage retreats and singles retreats because we br we want to awaken people to like their full potential and stop living small, stop settling for a relationship that's not serving you or that's not honoring you, and learn how to do it. So we we've seen transformation from like divorce for a year to they just said yes again two weeks ago. We have one of our stories because it's possible to shift something with just even one partner.

Shawna 21:12

I love that story because that was my parents' story. What happened was after my parents had been married for about a year, my mom said, This is not what I thought marriage was gonna be because her parents never argued in front of the kids, never had a disagreement. He brought her flowers every week. So my mom thought that's what marriage looks like. Then my mom's parents got divorced. And so it completely blew up my mom's image and idea of what marriage should be. So then she said, Now I really want a divorce. I don't know if marriage is possible. If these two people, my parents couldn't make it work. So anyway, they were divorced for a while. I I don't know if it was quite a year, but I think it was somewhere close to there. And then they came back together and like, yeah, it was really beautiful. You do have an idea in your mind. You think like divorce, that's final. But it's not. And it doesn't have to be. And that's really such a beautiful thing for people. Because I can imagine that sometimes people get a divorce and then they're realizing they made a mistake, too. And there's a lot that can be done to strengthen your relationship.

Dave 22:13

It's a great point. And in divorce, when you really think about it, it's just the end of an old relationship that didn't work the way both partners were showing up, right? And now the new, okay, let's start with it.

Shawna 22:24

You can start over off.

Brian 22:26

It kind of goes back to what you touched on at the beginning about the awareness that we're even modeling to our kids as you were talking about. She looked at her parents and was like, this is what marriage is like. It's perfect. And they're not arguing. But really, there were struggles going on. They just didn't see it or they weren't open to talk about it. And I know that's something that we've tried to do with Ashen. We always try to be open with like our challenges. Like we wanted him to see our failures as an opportunity to teach as well, not just the highlights. Those failures are probably some of the best teaching points. Yes. Teach teaching opportunities, I guess that's a better way to say it.

Shawna 22:56

Yeah, I think I read somewhere when he was little that if you don't model forgiveness, then kids can't learn forgiveness.

Brian 23:02

Now, I don't know if you guys are big music people, but we this is a song that we've, I think we just mentioned it maybe in another last episode. But there's an artist, his name is Alex Warren. He's got this song called First Time on Earth. And it's yeah, check it out because he it's all about like really giving forgiveness and realizing that it's your first time on earth too.

Shawna 23:22

And grace.

Brian 23:23

So, Yvette, when you mentioned about taking care of your side of the street. Yes.

Shawna 23:28

I um tend to be like, let me sweep your side of the road. Mine's fine already. Don't worry about it.

Brian 23:34

You know, easier.

Shawna 23:35

Yeah.

Yvette 23:35

It's easier to see what's over there. Absolutely.

Frog Farming And Coal Mining Explained

Yvette 23:38

In our community, we teach women, you know, uh, because my mentor taught me this. When I told her, you know, she asked me, How was your relationship at the beginning? I'm like, oh, he would dine and wine me. He would open the door for me, he would pick the restaurant, he was a decisive man. Now he can't make a decision. And so I was like saying all the things that were wrong with him. And so she said, Oh, so you must be a frog farmer. And I was like, A what? She goes, So you're farming frogs. So you took a perfectly great man and you turned him into a frog. Oh I was like, Well, what do you how do how do people become frog farmers? She goes, Well, you can diminish him, you can emasculate him, you can disempower him, you can criticize him, you can roll up your eyes. Every time you do that, you tell him that you're not you don't believe in him. There are ways to give him feedback in a way that he receives it, but all those things, you do it long enough, a man will turn into a frog. He will no longer want to help lead the family, help empower the family. He will turn into a frog instead of a king. So it's the opposite of that fairy tale, where in the fairy tale you kiss the frog and you turn him into a prince. Well, I actually found a prince and I turned him into a frog.

Dave 24:56

Ribbon, ribbon in the past.

Yvette 25:01

And so when we talk about cleaning up your side of the street, can you lay down the sword and stop that behavior that's diminishing him and shift the way you're communicating, which is what I did. And guess what happened? We also didn't realize there was another side of what men do to women.

Dave 25:21

So when she stopped frog farming, the hero inside of me came out to want to provide for her, protect her, to love her and cherish her heart because the way we were interacting. But then on the other side, there's men. And what we do is the opposite, but it's similar. It's called coal mining. And if you think of a diamond, right? How is a diamond formed? A diamond is formed when three things happen to the elements of coal, right? There's pressure, there's heat, and there's time, right? All of that creates a diamond. If there's too much pressure, what happens to that diamond? Is it crush? It crushes. It then never even turns into a diamond. And if we view our queens as this beautiful, precious stone, this beautiful diamond that God created to shine and sparkle and be so valuable that what men do is if they put too much pressure where they're controlling, they're jealous, they're angry, their temper, it causes our women to feel fear. And now what do they do to protect their heart? They also in turn emasculate. They protect our heart. So their heart gets hardened, right? But on the other side, as a coal miner, is if there's not enough pressure on the elements, there's not enough heat, then it still doesn't turn into a diamond. And so the opposite side of that is the pleaser, is the yes man, where he just got, he doesn't want to ruffle any feathers. So she doesn't even really know who he is because he's just gonna say yes. And eventually she still doesn't feel safe because who are you? What do you really believe? And so coal mining causes our queens to not show up and be the diamond that they were designed to be.

Yvette 27:02

Wow.

Dave 27:02

Wow, yeah.

Yvette 27:03

So we teach in our community and and in our mastermind and our courses, we teach women how to stop frog farming and men how to stop coal mining. And when they come together in a new light, it's like a whole new relationship shows up. I'm sure that's yeah, that's powerful.

Dave 27:19

Changes everything. Couple of things for the men out there, just to give you some resources, right? How to shift it. You can I can't tell you how many women tell us that they feel so lonely, they feel so unsafe and unseen. And even if their husband is there sitting with them on the couch, here's the challenge for a lot of men. We are designed to be providers, right? We want to go provide and we want to take care of our families. We're out there working, working really hard. But if our queen does not feel seen, safe, and heard, then she will start. I like I can tell anytime she does a little shift that she has not gotten my presence in a certain period of time. And presence is not just about being with each other, it's about building that deep soul connection of actually talking to each other on meaningful things. In other words, penetrating your queen's heart, something simple. Sweetie, tell me about all the great things that happen in your day today. And when you listen, don't listen to fix, don't listen to solve a problem, because that's what we tend to do. Just listen, and here's three words that'll change your relationship as soon as she tells you men were ADD, and also we we we just gotta we're constantly thinking what's gonna come next. These three words. Hey, babe, tell me more.

Shawna 28:44

Tell me more about I get to talk more and just tell you and not get fixed, which is beautiful because normally you kind of have to like get that from your friends, right? Because yeah, girlfriends specifically, yeah.

Yvette 29:01

But and when you can get that from your spouse, but it's very intentional. And most people are living in the world of speed and and things and fast and microwave society. Nobody's bossing and saying, baby, tell me about your day. Baby, tell me more. So we teach people partnership is counterintuitive. It's not treating your partner like you think you want to be treated because you're wired like a man. God wired you like a man for a reason. You're wired like a woman. A woman has a need to speak and share and tell you about releasing the overwhelm from our day. And so, men, if you can just hold that basket of presence once a day, and we get to tell you and not get fixed because men are wired to fix. So now you have to step into counterintuitive partnership and say, I'm fixing her by listening. And so when he says, Tell me more, and then at the end he goes, Is there anything you want me to do with that information, baby? No, I feel so much better. Thank you, babe. That one thing you start implementing in your marriage or your relationship, it's game over. Just that one thing.

Presence, Appreciation, And Tell Me More

Dave 30:15

And I get a warning sign, Asterisk. Okay, because men, we're so laser focused and we're not as communicative as ladies. And so um, three to five minutes on the basket. Okay, any more than five minutes and oh my god, it's painful.

Shawna 30:33

That actually makes a lot of sense. I'm glad you said that because I've been like 30 minutes, like I got all over. Sorry, your basket's drooping.

Yvette 30:44

Like that is that's where us ladies we step into partnership, which is counterintuitive. We can talk to our girlfriends for 20 to 30 minute minutes and create euphoria in our brains because we get to release our overwhelm with our men, keep it to three to five minutes. I tend to like say, okay, what are some of the best parts of my day? Now, ladies, if you want to rock your man's world, appreciation awakens a man's soul. Even if you built an amazing business together, he still needs to be so every day. I have a reminder in my in my in my phone, and it says appreciate him. And I find, baby, I just want to appreciate you. You are the best daddy to little buddy. Little buddy is our fur baby, and oh my God, he just gets so much love. And the way you play with him and the way you love him. I just want to appreciate and honor you. And I do it with love, with intention, looking into his eyes, and it could be a small thing or a big thing that will drive your man to run through walls for you. He needs that. That ignites his soul. And so many women just go for days, weeks, months without appreciating the men in their life. By the way, this is not just for your spouse. It's for your son, it's for your father. They don't get it. In a world that talks so much about toxic masculinity, nobody's ever talking about what is healthy masculinity. Well, we are. We take a stand. We take a stand for healthy, strong, masculine men and amazing, strong, feminine, beautiful women that are living their best life. You don't have to give up your great career to have a great relationship. And we're seeing so many women fall because they sacrificed their private life to have that public hero life.

Dave 32:31

So, real life story. One of our private clients, they came to us, they're very successful, and they have a good relationship, but not a great relationship. And they both work really hard. So they hardly have this connection. And so I'm doing a private coaching call with him, and they can't identify like, how do we how do we get back? Because they've been married for so long, but there's just a major disconnect. And so, as I'm talking to him, I'm hearing all of these experiences that he's had since they met when they were a blended family and they came together. And and then he's just like, she just, I don't think that she appreciates like the things that that I've done. And man, I would just love for her to just say, you know what, thank you, and I appreciate you. And he's saying experience, but he he didn't know how to verbally verbalize that, right? And so when uh we have also group coaching that we do, I invited her and everybody else in the group, and I said, Why don't we do this for the next seven days? Why don't we ladies to get closer and get that deep soul connection that you're craving? Why don't you appreciate genuinely just one time, just one thing for your man per day? But the genuine appreciation has to be, it can't just be, oh, I appreciate you, Joe. Uh right. Oh, yeah, thank you so much, Joe. No, no. It's gotta be something that's real, that's happened in the past, that you bring towards the future as an example. You know what, Pete? I so appreciate the fact that uh when we first met, that you allowed me and my daughters to move in, me and my kids to move in with you, and you took us in. I don't think I've ever appreciated you and thanked you for that. It changed the course of our life. Thank you. And so she started doing that for seven days. I get the call and I save this message from the husband, and he was just like, Dave, I don't know. He was almost in tears. I don't know how to thank you. Something majorly has shifted inside of my heart, and every time she appreciates me like this, I want to be a better husband. And we were just at this retreat, this health retreat, and it was we were so good that the neighbors had to come knocking on our door saying we were too loud.

Courses, Community, Retreats, And Apologies

Brian 34:49

So you guys are sharing these stories. For that, well, maybe let me pause for a second because I'm stuttering here for a second. Just hearing you share that, it sounds like it's something so little, this is just just just too easy. So, what are some of the misconceptions or maybe some of the excuses? Like, I just can't, like I just my my my work schedule just is not gonna work. I've got to be doing this. What are some of those excuses? And how do you guys uh respond to some of those?

Dave 35:14

Yeah, that's a great question. So the first thing I will say is prior to anybody going through our program, we pre-qualify both people. And what I mean by the pre-qualifying, it helps us to avoid a lot of those things because in the pre-qualification, one of the things that we look for and we ask questions because we have a whole interview process, is if there is zero responsibility for how they are showing up, they can't qualify for a program because there's nothing we are going to teach that they are actually going to hold themselves accountable to do because they're constantly pointing the finger. So that that's the first thing. Now we have some things of helping them to open up to possibility for them to take responsibility. But finally, when they come, it is so insane that I can tell you story after story, which is why our community has grown so organically, is because their friends are seeing the shift in them that it is not difficult. And when they learn these simple little things, that's not taking you a month to learn. It's just something that you start applying in your daily basis. And it's not like anything that you have to stop and do this for eight hours. It's just learning it and then making a conscious effort to apply it because we talk about awareness is the first thing. Okay, awareness. I'm frog farming, awareness, I'm coal mining. Okay, I want to stop doing all those things. Okay, but awareness is not what transforms the relationship, it's the implementation that transforms the awareness. And so that's why we have calls, we have exercises, we have things that people do that they can do at home with each other to implement what it is that they're learning.

Shawna 36:56

Yeah, that's awesome. I love that. So, okay, if I'm understanding you correctly, then you have kind of like a wider community. You have calls, you have what, like like fake Facebook group or something like that. Is that how you communicate?

Dave 37:10

We we have uh we have mastermind Zoom calls that we do. We have a uh we're so excited. We're actually launching a whole new technology community. So it's all in one Facebook group, mastermind calls, all the courses that we have all in one app. So we're putting a lot of investment in that coming out in July. And uh, so the really cool part about that is we want to build community as well, where people can also connect and share their wins, their challenges, and also get support from our coaches as well.

Shawna 37:39

Oh, that's great. And then I did I saw um something on Facebook about uh a retreat.

Yvette 37:46

Yeah, we just actually completed a retreat. Uh, it's it was called Elevate. It was in Tulum. It was with our inner circle. So we had people that are very committed that won massive transformation. A lot of high achievers, they want the shortcut. So we do these retreats for people who want the shortcut. They may not want to do the year program. They're like, I want transformation in three days. So we had something called Elevate in Tulum. It was in the jungles of Tulum's, it was in the middle of nowhere. The hotel was just ours. And we did training, experiences, role-playing. We actually taught the five apology languages. Everybody talks about the love languages, but if you're not apologizing to your partner in their apology language, it is not getting through the way it should. And so we had everybody role play and apologize. And it was just very, very heartfelt. And we also have women's retreats, we have men's retreats, we have something called Unshakable Kingdom that's going to uh happen in nine months that we're preparing for. So we have uh something for it. We have some people that just want to take courses. Okay, I just want your basic courses, and so they will do that, or they want to join our free community and test it out. Right now, that's housed in Facebook. And so we have a little bit for every different type of, you know, how ready are you? How much transformation do you want? If you want the massive transformation, you hire us for a day and we do something called a VIP day where we go boom. It's like a retreat, just the two of us and the couple. We're doing one in Tampa this Saturday. Okay, wow. Um, or if you just want to take our course and go once, you know, at your own pace for six months, you can do that as well.

Shawna 39:32

And where is the Unshakable Kingdom event going to be? The Unshakable Kingdom is probably going to be in St.

Yvette 39:38

Augustine. So we always like to do like a vacation type of environment where people come in for the weekend and then they stay stay a few days extra and just have that soul-filling uh time alone, or you know, with if you're there with your partner. So how often are you doing events?

Dave 39:55

I would say right now every three to four months. Okay, we're doing a live event. Yeah. Most of the stuff we do monthly stuff on Zoom, but we love the live event just because it's, you know, people, you get to meet people, it's the energy is different, you know, but it also takes a lot of resources to do live events. Oh, yeah, definitely.

Shawna 40:13

And are you still developing courses, or did you like get your courses done and now that's, you know, out there for people to be able to consume?

Dave 40:22

Yeah. So we have what we call our Wars and Queens Academy, which is the foundation, and those are already pre-recorded courses that people can watch with downloadable PDFs. And then we have our advanced training, which is what we call unshakable love mastery, which is super advanced. And what we keep hearing, everybody keeps telling us, man, I wish I would have learned this when I was younger. It would have saved me so much time and headache, right? And the way we put everything together to support relationships, there's nothing on the planet. And we just know that we know that we know that God put us on a mission to do this, but we are learner growers. So we're constantly bringing in new content as well.

Shawna 40:58

Yeah. That's what I was guessing because you can just sense that from you too, that you're learners. And I like that learner growers. Like I've never heard anyone use that term, but I like that. Yeah, you can just sense that from you. So I had a feeling you were gonna say you're always like developing new ideas.

Yvette 41:14

Yeah, I love that. Like the inner circle retreat, we brought in all new trainings because these are our advanced students and they want more, they want to go deeper, faster. And so we created three new trainings, and so they got to dive deep and have like an amazing, you know. We had two vow renewals that weekend. One couple after 33 years, and then one couple that was divorced for a year, they came back together in covenant, and so that was just beautiful to watch and be a part of. How rewarding. Very rewarding, yeah.

Brian 41:45

So, how do how can people find out about your guys' courses, your retreats, all that? You have a website, yeah, absolutely.

Yvette 41:52

As

Free Gift for Listeners 🎁

Yvette 41:53

a matter of fact, we have a free gift for everybody in the audience today. So, we're gonna gift them our ebook and our three uh three video course. Master course. So it is our master course, it is uh our blueprint for a happy relationship. And so if they go to warriorsandqueens.com forward slash the number three and the word steps. So warriors and queens all written out.com forward slash three steps. They will be able to access our free ebook and our course. It's valued at $149, and you guys are going to be able to get it as our gift.

Brian 42:34

Wow, thank you. Yes, we'll make sure we put that in the show notes too, so you guys can just click on it. That's yeah, that's awesome.

Dave 42:42

Yeah, no, thank you guys for even doing what you do, the value that you're bringing to the community and just inviting us uh to be here. We're just so grateful to have met you guys.

Yvette 42:52

In response

When Therapy Fails And Hope Returns

Yvette 42:53

to a question you had earlier, Brian, what do you hear often from your clients? And a lot of times people come to us last resort. Things had broken into the house, they got broken in the house, they're living separate, she just moved out, or he's packing. And what we hear the most is we tried everything. And they tried multiple therapists. And usually what happens at the last therapy session is the man felt so pointed his fingers at that he like basically said, This is the very last time I will ever go to therapy. Usually it's the man that feels like he was ganged up on, and he says, I will never do this again. And so they are completely ripped apart, they're in the worst place, and that's when the woman usually comes to us and goes, I'm willing to try anything I heard about you guys. And what happens, we had one lady that was just there to heal her heart because he had moved out. Well, she got on our two day virtual event, and we do mini virtual events every quarter. While she was listening, he's there packing his. Stuff because he he had moved out. He starts listening to our stuff and he realizes there's no pointing fingers. We're not saying the man should be doing this. We're telling people clean up your side of the street, stop frog farming, stop coal mining. He ended up sitting next to her the entire retreat.

Brian 44:19

Oh my gosh.

Yvette 44:20

He stopped packing, and we just got their testimonial. They said in 90 days, they got more done in the relationship than in four years of therapy. And now he moved, he moved in back together. They're no longer separate, and now they are going through our academy, watching the trainings, and realizing we're not broken. Nobody ever teaches this. There's so much pointing of the fingers that happens. And I'm not against therapy. I love therapy. If you got a great therapist and your therapist has a happy marriage, because sometimes people are getting coached by somebody who doesn't have what they want. So that's why people hire us. They're like, we know you live your walk, you talk your walk, you walk, your talk. But we're results driven. You can get results in 90 days if you know what to do. Our friend that he shared, that Dave shared the story of, had this one little thing that my wife finally did after 20 years, which was recognize the work that I had taken her in with her kids 20 years ago. He tried it, he tried a thousand things that never worked. But he didn't know what was the one thing that was gonna turn it all on. They pay us a lot of money to tell them what that one thing is. God has given us a gift to see patterns and to see because we're so devoted and committed to this work, we live, breathe, speak, live this work every single day from the morning until we go to sleep. And it's God has gifted us with seeing patterns and being able to tell this is what you need. Wow.

Dave 46:00

I got another nugget for you guys. So important. Because if you think of the world we live in today, right? So much separation, so much division. And even with friends and family, if you really look at it, how many of us have friends and family that really have that unshakable covenant love relationship that we can look up to, right? Very few of us do. And so now, if we're struggling, who do we tend to go to? If we do open up, is usually friends and family that might not necessarily have the answers and the relationship that we want. So, in a way, we also created this community selfishly because we wanted to surround ourselves with other people that made a decision to honor, love, respect, appreciate each other, and learn the skills. So a big part of why people have transformation is not just the vet and I. It's when they come into the community, they see other couples that they're not on commercials and just pretending that this is how they really honor and communicate with each other. And they hear the stories of not just the victories, they hear the stories of the struggles on where they were, how they transformed it, and then look at our relationship today.

Brian 47:10

It

Illusion vs. Passion & Community

Brian 47:11

just took me back, I think it was a couple years ago. Uh, we met a guy at a podcast conference, and I met him because people were going around saying, We loved your keynote. And I'm like, I did not do a keynote here. I don't know who you're talking about. And um, so then I didn't meet the guy, and he was very charismatic. Charismatic and and uh great branding. He's grown YouTube like crazy. I think within two months he had over two million subscribers. And I'm like right off the bat, from my experience, I'm going, How did you do that? Because that's not right. So he's just bragging and telling me about all this stuff. He's got companies that's paying eight to ten thousand dollars a month to do this, and then he found out what I did and he said, Okay, can I can I ask you something? I'm like, sure. And he said, I've got this, I've grown this, but what I did is I paid for all these, so nobody's engaging. So, like, what do I do? I'm like, Oh, there's nothing you can do. You went about it the wrong way. What blew my mind was people were paying this guy eight to ten thousand dollars a month to duplicate what he shared from up on the platform, which is like an illusion of success. So it's like they didn't know really how he got there, they saw the numbers and said, give him the money. So I'm like, that's the same thing. Like, even more crucial when it comes to your relationships, but there's a lot of people that step it up on platform. Sitting here with you guys, I can tell, like, you guys are passionate about this, you guys know it, but then you also have the community to back it up. That's a beautiful thing because when people get in that community, they're not seeing they're not seeing Dave and Yvette all the time, they're seeing the other people and their story and their transformations, and that's a beautiful thing, and it's so powerful.

Yvette 48:40

Cutest story, like we have David and Jenny Cook. They're two, they've been with our community for like three years, and they were both, you know, divorced, and they they started to realize things were starting to creep in again from like their old patterns, and they came and studied with us, and now they're in our leadership program, they're coaches, they're uh in our coaching certification, but they went to take dance classes because he wanted to take more action in leading her, you know. So, like also they started like, and she wanted to like receive from him more to kind of practice this. They took dance lessons, and now their instructors, their instructors are in our mastermind because they were like, there's some, they're like, there's something different about you guys. Like, you give me goosebumps, the way you talk to him, the way you talk to her, the way you talk about each other. She goes, I don't see that in the real world. And so they ended up joining our mastermind. And so now we have like two, three, four generations of referrals. Yes, because they're seeing it, they're seeing it. So it's no longer David Yvette. It's like, wow, David and Jenny, or you know, Kathy and Robert, or Lenny and Jackie. Now they're the dance instructors, now they're paying it forward to their sisters and family. So it's kind of cool to see. And they're in their 70s, they're studying with us. They're like, you wrote like the handbook for having a great relationship. And even us in our 70s, we can learn to have a great relationship.

Brian 50:01

See, when I hear all this, it makes me start thinking, which you guys probably already have this. I'm like, man, what a beautiful gift to give to newlyweds. Like, do you have like a newlyweds kind of like little package thing? Because I'm like, man, like we just put that on our okay. I was like, because I'm sitting here thinking, like, man, there was things that if we would have known when we first got married, because I was supposedly supposed to be her hero and answered everything, and she was my hero and answered to all my problems. But then we get in there and we have all that mess, and it starts, you know, the baggage starts piling up. We're like, wait a minute, where did you bring that in from? Like, that's not supposed to be here. But yeah, I mean, that's great. We have it on our mind map to cut. Yes, coming soon. Because what a beautiful gift for people to give to their kids, you know, as they're stepping into that.

Shawna 50:45

Imagine walking into a marriage with that knowledge.

Brian 50:53

Those are just things that we had to learn. And

Triggers, Masks, And Breathe Open Pause

Brian 50:56

one of the worst things that she could ever say was to me, it's not as bad now. I mean, well, it's not even close to being like it was I don't say it anymore. You don't say it anymore, but it was you're acting just like your dad.

Shawna 51:06

I'm like, Yeah, do not say that.

Dave 51:11

Well, well, check this out. You guys are so spot on. That's one of the biggest issues. And a lot of people, it's hard for them to talk about it because it is it is very emotional. We have a phrase in our community that says, People in circumstances show up in your life to expose areas you are not yet free. Okay, people in circumstances. So think about it. If something happens or somebody says something here, it may trigger somebody, but not really do anything to somebody else. So why does it affect somebody? Why does it bother somebody and not somebody else? It's so good. It's usually because there's something that we call a mask. When something emotional happens, especially zero to seven years old, there's a protective mask that we put on to protect ourselves from ever getting hurt from that again. And so that protective mask takes us further and further away from our God-given gifts of who we were, where love, peace, happiness, joy lies. And it moves us away. So as we get older, we go through life, and then all of a sudden somebody says or somebody does something. You don't be like your father, right? And now all of a sudden, that mask gets poked, and now the trigger shows up. And what do post people do when they get triggered? They don't respond in a healthy, happy way. They react, right? And that reaction creates more chaos, and now the partnership goes into toilet ball flush, as opposed to somebody saying this. This is what we teach in our community. Okay. If people and circumstances show up in your life to expose an area that you are not yet free, so when you get triggered, what's the first thing you want to do? You want to do that. The first thing you want to do for most people. But when you learn to break that pattern, we call it you want to bop. Bop. What does bop mean? Well, it's an acronym. If you ever remember that the Hansen twins. Mm-bop. We play that song, right? And MmBOP just stands for breathe. Open pause. Because when you get triggered, what happens? You're tensing up, no oxygen to the brain. Something crazy is gonna come out of your mouth. So breathe. And when you breathe, oxygen goes in, it gives you a moment, right? And then you open your heart so that you're not tensed up to create chaos, and then you pause. And in that breathe open pause, that's where you can hear Holy Spirit, you can step into human spirit, whatever your faith is that you believe. But now instead of reacting, you respond and you realize your partner is not your enemy. That is just an old trigger that's ready to be healed.

Brian 53:38

That's good.

Shawna 53:39

So you're blowing my mind here because I'm thinking about how it seems like these days, you know, trigger warnings on everything so that people can avoid their triggers, right? So they say, Don't say that. That triggers me and we're not going there. But instead, we need to lean in and figure out why that's a trigger, right? Oh heal.

Dave 53:59

Yes. Because look at the reframe. You just hit it on the nap. You just hit the reframe. Because you said this to me, I'm feeling this way. That's blame pointing finger. That doesn't create partnership, that creates separation. So when a trigger happens, if if she's I'll give you a prime example. Okay, prime example. Several months ago, we're still human beings, we're not perfect, right? Several months ago, I asked her, we were doing this PowerPoint for our virtual event. Our next one, by the way, is coming up July 18th, 19th. It's for free. If anybody wants to join, we have some guest passes. And so I asked her, I said, sweetie, you're much better at me at reading things and editing things. Can you look at this keynote that I created for our training and just look at it and edit it for me? So we're sitting at the kitchen table and she's going through the edits and she's seeing a misspelled word. And she's fixing that misspelled word. Oh, I think I could probably relate it. And then now all of a sudden, the misspell word is like comes at three to four different things. And now all of a sudden, I'm feeling tension building up. And after the fifth or sixth correction, I just lost it. And what I mean by lost it, I said, okay, thanks, that's enough. And I slammed the computer and I took the computer into my office. And I was like, huh?

Shawna 55:12

Like, you asked me to prove that. Like, what am I missing? How did you get upset?

Dave 55:18

And so I'm in my office, and I know we teach this stuff. So I breathed and I opened paused after I slammed the computer. We have this simple process called the path to freedom. And the path to freedom is also helping to identify what is the mask that created. Why did I get triggered first? So I tuned in. What triggered me? This is what triggered me is that she was correcting my stuff. Okay, when was the last time that I felt like, okay, being corrected? And I went all the way back. When was the first time ever? And the whole thing was, I did not, I felt stupid. I felt not smart. And I went all the way back. And this happened in just minutes. I went all the way back. Third grade teacher, Miss O'Connor. I'm in New York, never forget it. She, I was a shy kid. She asked a question and she asked me to stand up and answer the question. I didn't know the answer. I said something that didn't make any sense. And in front of all of my classmates, she pointed at me. She goes, Dave, you are so stupid. And I'm standing up. I'm in the third grade and I didn't know what else to do. I start crying. So now I'm embarrassed. And I'm like, I gotta get out of here. So the teacher was in the front of the room, the front of the door was out there. I get out of my seat and I'm running, crying, just embarrassed and shame. And she grabs me by the hands to hold me in the room. And the only thing I can think of is kicking her in the shin. I kick her in the shin. She lets me go. I run out of the room. For years, in my mind, I said, I must be stupid. If somebody of authority called me stupid, and so I never did good in school, I didn't excel. The gift of that, as I excelled in sports, I said, okay, if I'm not smart, I'm gonna be fast. And I became really good at sports. But that led me to this, right? So now I'm there, and then we have this other process called the blessing release technique, where now I identified what the source of that trigger was, and I just started releasing it. Blessing, release it, blessing, release it, and getting myself to a neutral so that now afterwards. Now imagine this in the past, this of where created tension, arguing, fighting, sleeping in different rooms the next day, two weeks. But instead, after I went through that process, took me three to five minutes. I come back and I apologized and I shared with her where all that stemmed from. And so now that deepened our love and appreciation and understanding for each other as opposed to most couples, it just created chaos.

Brian 57:41

I know we gotta get ready to wrap up, but I do want to ask you because I forgot to ask this at the beginning, but why not now? Uh, a couple questions as we wrap up.

Why Warriors And Queens

Brian 57:49

The first one is what's the meaning behind the name warriors and queens?

Shawna 57:54

Good question.

Dave 57:55

Yeah. So we were thinking kings and queens, because it's like, you know, on the throne and everything like that. And what we realize today is that there's so many men that have not earned being in the king kingdom of their kingdomhood, that there is a war going on, a spiritual war, a relationship war. And for men today, they need to learn how to put on the armor of God, right? The helmet, the shield, and pick up the shield to protect and provide. So for me personally, I'm like, I want to work with the men to help them to become warriors to step into their kingdomhood. So, warriors for me, that was the reason why I wanted to go with warriors.

Yvette 58:39

Yeah, and queens, you know, we were really inspired by our mentor and the book Queen's Code. And so we wanted to teach queens how to speak heroes' language to elevate the men in their life rather than diminish the men in their life. So, in order for you to step into being a queen, you have to speak the language of a queen, which is inspiration. And so, for a woman to really step into that energy and be able to be provided for and loved on. And it doesn't matter if you have a great career, that's great. But you don't want to be the provider at home either. You want to be able to shift between both worlds. And so a lot of women are so overwhelmed, overworked, underappreciated. Well, that is the way if you learn to receive from your king and stepping into that queen inspiration and language, you can have it all.

Dave 59:31

And I let me just add one last thing to the name because you know, sometimes people don't really know what is warriors and queens really. So our our our very next after Warriors and Queens, it's the relationship reset. Because that's one of the things that we love helping people to do. No matter where you are in your relationship, you can just hit the reset button and just learn some things to create a whole new relationship that you don't have to stay stuck where you're at. And so the relationship reset is kind of what we're gonna start branding on.

Shawna 59:58

That's so good. And so that just brings up one quick question. Uh, this happens a lot, doesn't it? Um, so do you still recommend that your students read the Queen's Code, or have you taken that research and just like infused it into all of your courses and all of that?

Dave 1:00:13

Great question.

Yvette 1:00:14

Yeah, great question. Sometimes we do, depends on where they're at. But if they can come and get the courses, we go beyond partnership because we notice like a lot of what we learn from Allison is about partnership, which is great. But what women really want is polarity. They want that energy from their man, they want that deep soul connection. So you must learn partnership, and that's what the book is about. But as you infuse into our courses, we go deeper into the passion phase, which is the most important phase. And so, unfortunately, Queen's Coach will teach you some basic things, but really you want to dive into the passion so that you can have purpose as a couple.

Brian 1:00:51

I love that. Okay, so as we get ready to wrap up, I want to thank you guys again for both for coming on, being a part of the podcast. This has been awesome. We're definitely gonna be checking out your site, looking at your event coming up in July. Uh, and make sure you guys again check out the free resources that they're giving you guys. Make sure you check that out. What's that web address again?

Yvette 1:01:08

Warriorsandqueens.com forward slash three steps.

Brian 1:01:12

Three steps. All right. And again, it'll be in the show notes, but as we get ready to wrap up, I want to ask you guys

No Hope... What Would You Say

Brian 1:01:17

for anybody that has made it through this whole episode and they might be in that moment of thinking, like, I just don't know. I don't I don't know if it if there's any hope anymore. What would you want to say to them?

Dave 1:01:39

Those are me personally, I I tend to take most of the conversations initially. Um I I would suggest having the courage to talk to somebody about your current situation. Yvette and I, we offer uh a free breakthrough session, 50 minutes, and a big part of that is just getting the download of what is really going on. So in the breakthrough session, whether you do it with us or somebody else, number one, you got to get super honest with yourself on what is, right? And when you're super honest with yourself, what is, then you have to have the courage. When I was working with a couple, the first thing after they had all this chaos, all this hurt, trust, betrayal, the first thing that I asked them before we moved any further, and I asked them, is your marriage worth saving? Is your marriage worth fighting for? Because if your marriage is worth fighting for, 100% there's hope and there is a path, but you got to believe that that path is available to you, and then you got to step into it. It's not gonna happen by accident, it's not gonna happen because somebody else does it for you. You have to make a decision. So if you're a man in that place, that is the first thing you need to decide. Is your marriage worth fighting for? Because from that place, God will tend to open the right doors and put the right people in your path.

Brian 1:03:05

That's good. So if you guys want to learn more, make sure you visit Warriorsandqueens.com. And again, thank you guys for joining us on the podcast. Uh, if you guys have enjoyed this episode, uh leave a review. We love reading your reviews. But more importantly, if you know, if you have somebody in your life, a friend, a relative that maybe is going through challenges with their marriage, share this episode with them. Uh, maybe they'll hear something in here. I think they will. Anyone that's listening is gonna take something away from it. But maybe it might help turn that around and give them some hope.

Shawna 1:03:34

Uh, so with that, catch you next time, neighbor.